Charlie's Story
by K-IsForKhaos
Summary: When a normal girl, Charlie, suddenly has a spaceship land in her backyard, her world turns upside down. With help from paranormal investigator Dib, she learns about this being: Zim. A alien which must be ridden as soon as possible. Or is that so? Charlie soon discovers that all is not simple about this particular alien. Could he be "human" enough for something of a... friendship?
1. Chapter 1 - It Was A Saturday Morning

1

_Saturday, 6:23 am. Charlie_

It was a Saturday morning.

I groaned. _Why can't I just sleep in for once? _Typical of me, the ONE day of the week that I can sleep in, my brain decides to wake up at 6-ish in the _dang morning_! I roll over several times, and, finally, deciding that I wouldn't be getting anymore sleep today, I sit up. Directly across my bedroom from the bed, sits a mirror, which I strategically placed there to get me up in the morning. How? Because the first thing I see when I wake up, is myself... Tousled, wavy bangs hung over my blue/green eyes. A halo of my short-cropped, black hair seemed to float above my head, which I quickly try to correct with a run-through with my fingers. A purple brush lay on the dresser, but it hasn't been touched since my last birthday when I set it there, exactly one year ago. Yep, you guessed it. Another strange thing about this day, it's my birthday...My 16th birthday, to be exactly. I can finally drive legally, even though that was never a problem for me. Because of certain freedoms (mainly, there being a significant lack of law enforcement), I was always allowed to drive where ever I wanted to. Just as long as I didn't text while driving, and looked out for pedestrians, and didn't listen to loud music, and and and...

In a little town like Stratonville (Yes, that IS the name of my town), when you've known all the people in the town since birth, and are related to most of them, you typically don't need to worry about, well... ANYTHING. Crime in our town is reserved to the occasional break-in, parking ticket, and police prank calls. Basically, a bunch of kids having fun late at night. Not that I would know anything about late-nights. I'm never involved in it. . I'm apparently too much of a "goody-goody" to be included is such matters.

Whatever...

Anyway, on the Saturday morning that was this, I was debating about whether or not to step onto the cold hardwood floor under my bed, when I heard a loud rumbling. And I mean, LOUD. I leaped out of bed, and was instantly knocked to my knees by the tremor that suddenly overtook the house. And with a deafening BOOM as the finale, it was over. I smelled something burning. Ran to my window. Out in my father's formerly perfectly manicured lawn, a strange purple and red blob-ish-thing was smoking heavily, half buried in the ground. A brown and black trail of burned dirt started around the line of woods, and stopped at the now brown and black... thing. My first thought: _Oh crap. A spaceship just landed in my freaking backyard. _ Second thought: _Dad's going to be FURIOUS! _Presently, I was at a lost at what I should do. _Should I go down and look at it? Should I call the police? "Excuse me, I think a spaceship just landed in my backyard, can you come and take care of it?... No, of course I'm not high. I- hello? Hellooooo?" No way..._

And that's how this nightmare was started. I ripped off my pajama shorts, and pulled on a pair of jeans. Made my way carefully down the stairs and through the halls to the back door, biding my time. Thinking ahead, I grabbed a baseball bat that had been hung on the living room wall. It had been signed by some famous baseball player, and my dad had displayed it proudly above the fireplace, literally. I pried open the back door, and stepped outside...

I squeezed my eyes shut at the blast of warm, smoky air that hit my face. Coughing, I shielded my face and pulled the door closed behind me. The brightly colored spaceship looked even bigger when I was standing a few feet away from it. A BANG sounded. I jumped back as a hatch opened on the top, letting loose another plume of smoke from the open hole. I watched in wide-eyed anticipation as a figure pulled itself out of the hole, and leaped to the ground. It stepped past the smoke into my view. I clenched my teeth to keep from gasping. It looked sort of human-like, except its skin was chartreuse green, and its eyes... Its eyes were red, and jelly like, like some kind of bug. Furthering its insect appearance, it had two black antennas, which right now were lowered, as if in exhaustion. Actually, the alien in general looked kind of bad. Its legs were wobbling, and it looked unsteady.

Not seeming to notice me, the creature turned toward it's ship. "Gir..." It said, voice cracking. Based on the voice, I would have guessed that it was male, but I couldn't be sure. "He" assumed a strong position as "he" looked up at the hatch. All of a sudden, a silvery looking child stepped out onto the top of the hatch. It leaped into the air, and fell to the ground with a thud and a shriek of laughter. As it lifted its head, and grinned at the alien, I realized something. It was made of metal, and had green, lit-up circles for eyes. _It's a robot!_ "Let's do that again! WEEEEEEE!" The little robot, namely, "Gir", had an electronic, high pitched voice. Then the alien spoke again, this time with a stronger voice. "Gir. Use your locating system to tell us where we are. And then... check...th…" The alien placed a hand to his head, closed his eyes, and sank to his knees. It was when he opened them again that his eyes met mine. Or at least I think they did. He didn't really seem to have pupils. He gasped and leapt to his feet. "A human!" He turned to the little robot, who was now happily sucking on his feet, "Gir! Defensive mode!" Jumping in the air, Gir did a flip, and ran, screaming, off into the woods. The green creature sighed, and turned to me again. During this whole time, I had been standing, with my back to the door, knees slightly bend in case I had to make a run for it. Suddenly, metal appendages popped out of the half sphere on the alien's back, and lifted him of the ground.

He began stalking toward me...

I swung the bat in a wide semi-circle as the alien came toward me. It connected with one of the four metal legs with a sharp crack. Crying out, he fell to his side, and the legs sucked back into the purple and gray dome on his back. He growled, and began lurching toward me. I let out a shriek, and whacked him across the head, right above where his ear should have been. He fell to the ground while I stood there, still not quite knowing what to do. Still keeping a fast hold on the wooden bat, I slowly knelt down by the alien, and rolled him over with my weapon. His face was slightly dirty and smudged from falling face-down, and he was starting to develop a lump on the side of his head. Now, being this close to him, I realized he was quite small, probably shorter than me. I felt kind of bad now. I mean, he did try to attack me, but in his current state, I don't think he could have done any real damage. He was already covered in bruises, and a few cuts, which were oozing blue blood. _Eew..._ Well, I can imagine how crashing in a spaceship to the crust of Earth could do that. Still unsure of whether I should go tell somebody or not, I uncertainly called toward the house, "Da-ad?" But then I remembered that he had left last night for a business trip to Florida, and would be gone for the week. He was, of course, perfectly fine with leaving me home alone for a week. Stratonville was about two miles away, a short four-wheeler or car drive away.

I outstretched my hand toward the alien, with one finger extended. Reaching slowly towards him, my finger touched the side of his face. Gently, gently, I lowered my whole hand onto his skin. It was warm, like a human, but felt slightly more rubbery. As I ran my hand down his face, he groaned. I leapt back with a gasp, swung the bat again. This time I hit him on the forehead.

He fell silent.


	2. Chapter 2 - Agent MothMan

2

_Saturday, 7:05 am. _

Now I had an idea. Slowly, as so not to elicit a sound from him again, I slid my arms underneath his body, and lifted him up. Surprisingly, maybe due to his smaller size, he was pretty light. I opened the door with my elbows, and moved into the house. I stopped inside the door, not sure where to set the creature in my arms. I was about to walk over to the stairs, but then decided against it. I didn't want the thing in my bedroom. The couch was the best alternative. Moving quickly over, I laid him down on the white fabric, stepped back, and sank down to the coffee table in front of the couch.

I'm not sure how long I stared at him until I realized something. He was bleeding blue into our couch. Our white couch. _Crap. What do I do now?_ Other than putting him on the floor, there was only one other thing I could do. _Eew, this is going to be SO gross..._ My bare feet made soft thuds as I ran over to the hall bathroom. I rummaged through the medicine cabinet until I found what I wanted. Medical tape, gauze, and Cotton pads. As I hauled the things back toward the couch, I heard mumbling. I set everything down on the coffee table, and leaned in to listen. "Yes, my Tallest... Invader Zim reporting for duty..." _Invader Zim_?_ What kind of name is that?_ "Gir, put that down..." _Hm... Whatever._ I unrolled the pack of gauze, and carefully began wrapping it around "Zim"'s head, careful to avoid his antennas. I taped the end of the gauze down, and began taping cotton pads onto his various cuts. I didn't know what to do about his bruises. I don't know anything about alien doctrine, or aliens in general. Well, as my father jokingly declares, "When all is lost, try Google."

I placed my laptop on the coffee table and pulled up the lid. I glanced over the lid at the still-unconscious alien named Zim. I opened up an internet browser, and went to Google. My fingers stilled over the keyboard. _What the heck am I supposed to search for? Well, it's worth a try._ I typed 'Zim, Alien' and hit Enter. The first hit I got was a website called " /AgentMothMan'sBlog"

"Huh..."

I clicked the link, and leaned forward. This, Agent Moth Man or whatever, knew about Zim. Knew a LOT about Zim. At the top of the blog was a blurry picture of the green-skinned creature that was currently sleeping on her couch. Only in the picture, he had human-looking eyes, and a very obviously fake black wig. As I scrolled down, I saw other pictures of the same kind, usually blurry, and always at an odd angle. Some of the images were of a strange green and black dog. Underneath them, were titles such as: "Gir Drinking SuckMonkey", or "Gir Taking Out Trash". _Curiouser and curiouser..._

I read a few of the paragraphs that were wedged in between the photographs. These were mostly notes about what Zim had done at Skool that day, or various little things Moth Man had found out while doing his daily stalking. One thing caught my eye. It was a sound file, labeled: "VoiceNotes#14". Interested, I clicked play. A voice began to drone over the speakers, and I glanced at Zim. He moaned once, and rolled over, with his back facing me. I turned down the volume, and directed my attention to the voice coming out of my speakers. Whoever "Agent Moth Man" was, he couldn't be very old. He sounded like a typical tired, bored teenager. , "Hour... 14 of my..." Yawn, "24-hour observation... So far, no activity, unless you count Gir running back and forth across the street... Screaming... " The recording abruptly shut off with a click.

Fifteen minutes of browsing later, I still hadn't learned much, except that Agent Moth Man was an obsessive, psychotic-

Suddenly, something caught my eye. It was a sentence outlined in black: "Contact: 358-6852"

Our home phone was in my hand in a flash. I glanced at the wall clock hanging in our living-room. 7:48. _I wonder if it's too early to call..._ But urgency overruled politeness, and I found myself dialing the number. It rang several times before a sleepy-sounding voice answered,

"Uh, hello?"

"Oh, hey. Hello!" I hoped Agent Whatever couldn't detect the quaver in my voice. "Um, are you Agent Moth Man?"

There was no answer at first. I could imagine how much of a chance there is that anyone would call him looking for someone from the Swollen Eyeball unit.

"Uhhh, Yes, this is Agent Moth Man, but you can call me Dib. Who is _this_?"

_Dib? Wait. Dib, as in, Prof. Membrane's son?_ I figured this wasn't a good time to ask.

"My name is Charlotte…. But you can call me Charlie."

"Okayy... What do you need?"

I had to think about that for a second. What DO I need? _Someone to pick up the half-dead alien in my living-room? Yeah, sure..._ Truthfully, I just needed someone to talk to. Someone to explain to exactly why I'm NOT going insane.

"Um... So... You know things about aliens, and stuff?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay... Does the name _Zim_ ring any bells?"

Another long pause.

"Yeah you could say that... What do YOU know about Zim?"

"Not very much... He has green skin, red eyes," I glanced at the sleeping alien, observing his odd wardrobe, "He wears a pink and red shirt, and black pants. Right now, he's sleeping on my couch, because after he crashed-" "WHAT?!"

The voice came suddenly, and LOUDLY. I quickly pulled the phone away from my ear.

"Yeahhh... He's-" "WHERE DO YOU LIVE?!"Taken aback by this, I hesitated, but eventually recited my address to Dib. I heard the SLAM of the phone being shoved back onto the receiver. _Okayy... I guess that's taken care of._

It took him about an hour or so to get here. The amount of time from him hanging up, and the doorbell ringing, that is. Not very much happened in that period of time. I stayed where I was, sitting on the coffee table, staring in wonder at the alien who had completely changed my life in the span of a couple hours. Questions pestered my mind. _What planet is he from? How long has he been on Earth? What is he doing here? What's his species called? What what what..._

All of a sudden, I heard Zim stirring from the couch , and looked over to see what he was doing. His head was moving back and forth, and words were escaping from his mouth. "Mmm... Dib, filthy little..." _Dib? What in the world..._

I walked over to him and, making sure my trusty baseball bat was within reach, leaned down over the alien. His eyes were squeezed shut. _Is he asleep?_.

"Z-Zim?" His eyes fluttered open at my voice.

I started, and was about to reach for my bat, when something stopped me. Something about his expression...

He stared at me in confusion. "Who... W-where am...?" His voice trailed off as he looked around my living-room. "This is an odd-looking hospital..."

"I-," _Hospital? He thinks he's in a hospital? Is he... okay?_

I leaned over warily, and touched the backs of two fingers to his forehead. It was warm, a lot warmer than before. _Oh, he's feverish. Can aliens get a fever?_

I decided to play along with him, "Um, yes, it is! … A hospital... That's it... "

He seemed mildly annoyed, "Well of course... You think I can't recognize an Irken Hospital?"

"Oh, no. Of course you can..." _Irken... Ah..._ "I'm just here to give you some..." I glanced toward the bathroom, an idea forming in my mind. I needed to keep him out cold until Dib got here. "… Painkillers?"

Zim looked confused, "Painkillers?"

"Yeah… To help with your… injuries?"

"Oh. Well hurry it up. I don't like to wait."

I stood, and raced over to the bathroom again. There it is: a white, unlabeled bottle, which I had seen my dad open once, when he broke his wrist. I grabbed the container, and, thinking about it, also grabbed a digital thermometer. "Here," I said, joining Zim in the living-room, "Take these..." I poured out two white tablets, and handed them to Zim.

"Oh, here, let me get you a glass of water," I was about to run to the kitchen, but Zim interrupted me with a look of horror, "Are you CRAZY?!" He popped the pills in his mouth at the same time, and swallowed hard. Almost immediately, his eyes began to droop. _Wait! Fever!_

I knelt down beside him, and held the thermometer near his lips. Zim looked down at it, nodded once, and opened his mouth. I had to clench my teeth. His mouth was pink on the inside like a human, but his tongue... It was like a worm. Thin and rounded. _Bleghhhh..._

I shoved the metal end under his worm-tongue without watching. BeepBeepBeep! I glanced back. Zim's eyes were halfway closed, and I pulled the small plastic thermometer out. _81.7 Fahrenheit. Well, that's way low. Or, at least it's low for a human..._

"Hey, uh, Zim?"

He lifted his lids just enough to catch me in his view, "Mmm?"

"Uh, what's the normal Irken body temperature?"

That seemed odd to Zim, but he didn't try to analyze it.

"Mm... seventy-five point... Uh, eight..." And with that, the alien was unconscious, snoring quietly. I sat back on my heels. _Well, that should keep him out for a while. Or at least until that boy gets here._


	3. Chapter 3 - Foolproof

3

_Friday, 2:59 pm. Zim_

_Only. One. More. Minute!_

As usual, the idiotic clock seemed to be stalling on the last minute of the skool day. I gripped my pencil harder.

_Come onnn!_

With a tick, the hour hand of the wall clock swung up to 3:00, and the bell sounded. A cheer rose up from the kids as they began exiting the classroom through any opening that they could find. Of course, _I_ would use the DOOR, like any civilized person SHOULD. It just goes to show how much superior-er I was to the humans...

Aiming a parting glare at Dib, who faithfully returned it, I marched out of the Skool.

It rained on the walk home.

_Just my luck,_ I thought, as the storm clouds surged above me. When it began to sprinkle, I gritted my teeth and started walking faster. Each raindrop felt like a shard of glass embedding itself into my precious green skin. When it started pouring, I began to run. A scream rose in my throat as an intense pain spread over me. It had just started to thunder as I turned a corner, and spotted my house. I sprinted toward the welcoming sight, past the opening in the fence, past the sinister-looking gnomes and plastic bird-things, and slammed the door behind me. I gasped for breath as I leaned my weight against the door. Oddly enough, Gir was nowhere to be seen. "Oh well, I don't really want to deal with him right now," I murmured to myself. As if on clockwork, I heard a voice coming from above me, "Mastuh! Look what I made you!" Expecting the worst, I glanced up. Sure enough there he was, somehow sticking to the ceiling. Surrounding him was a circle of baloney slices, in the crude shape of a heart. With a sucking sound, one of the pieces of meat slipped off of the ceiling, and hit me in the face. Gir, of course, let out a shriek of laughter. He leapt down from the ceiling, and landed in front of me. It was then that my patience burst. I ripped the meat off my face, and threw it to the ground. "GIIRRRR! CLEAN UP THIS MESS AS ONCE! GET RID OF THAT BALONEY," I gestured to the meat-heart on the ceiling, "AND THEN. Then... Uh. Clean! SOMETHING ELSE!"

Satisfied that Gir had learned his lesson, I stomped over to the elevator, and traveled down to the telescope-room. It was time for my daily "me" time. Us superior beings needed that time. And there was my trusty telescope, sitting in the middle of the room as it always had. I marched over, hopping up onto the seat and peering methodically through the scope. A blurry image greeted me. Focus, focus… Ah, perfect! There it was, planet Xeridade. The tournament planet. I swiveled the view over, sighting another planet for me t—Wait, what was that? Another figure posed itself in front of my view. I focused on the object… Was that a ship? No, not a ship… A strange Earth device, floating in space. My computer announced that it was something the humans called a "satellite". Its purpose was to convey information from one place to another. OR something like that… A plan began to form. If a certain incredible Irken were to gain control of this object, he could use it to manipulate the information that was leeching into the human's puny bodies. Earth would be his!

"GIR! Stop what you're doing and meet me in the docking room!"

The plan was foolproof. I would zip up to this satellite, hack the inferior computer on it, and began his own feed into it. It was a plan worthy of me, Invader Zim!


	4. Chapter 4 - A Circle of Antagonism

4

_Saturday, 8:17 AM Dib_

Zim was on the loose. It was going to happen eventually, I knew. But I never would have imagined that he would attack a human. Especially not a human GIRL. And _especially _not so far out of the city. It was taking me FOREVER to find this place. Even with my personal GPS attached to the windshield, my car and I seemed to be trapped in a maze of crop fields and cow pastures. So many cow pastures.

This was a big breakthrough.

The alien's activity had been… less than normal, lately. It was just the normal, glare here, insult there. A circle of antagonism.

It had been five years since the Irken had first landed here on earth. I was only a twelve year-old kid at the time. Ever since then, he had a PURPOSE. A reason for being the paranormal investigator he always dreamed to be. And now, he had finally attacked. The girl, Charlie, didn't she say, had mentioned that he was laying on her couch. Sleeping? More likely, plotting his evil plan, whatever it was this time. That was all the details she gave me.

But it was more than enough. Just the mere mention of Zim was enough to trigger my investigating skills.

And finally, someone seemed to recognize him for what he really was. Not a human. Not even from this planet. No, he was from another place. A purple-laden place called "Irk".

I've never been there, but with all the information I received from Zim's computer, I don't need to. It was industrialized, as far as I could tell. Somewhat barren. Probably only a beautiful place to call home in an Irken's jelly eyes. But one day, I would find a way to get there. I would invade his planet like he invaded mine, and I would take back everything that he had taken from us. The alien known as Zim would regret the day he had ever been assigned to Planet Earth.

But that day hadn't come yet. Hadn't come for a long time. Every day, it was the same. I would investigate, find out what Zim's next plan was, and foil it. I don't know why he even tried anymore.

Persistent little worm-tongued piece of—

I slammed on the breaks. Oh, here we were. House number 4902. It was a farmhouse, large and white. Picture an old plantation house, remodeled with less-majestic stone pillars, and wooden walls. Like, log cabin plantation house. It was big.

Turning down the gravel driveway, I kept a jittery foot on the gas, trying not to accelerate too quickly. Wouldn't want the inhabitants to think I was a nutcase, like everybody else…

Pull up to the garage door, step out. The house seemed even bigger up close. What kind of people were these? Probably… rich dentists. Yeah, definitely. I walked to the front door, a large, wood and glass arrangement, designed to impress the enterer. Which it did, in this case. Why had a GIRL called me, in this kind of a house? Why not her rich father or mother? Oh well, I would just have to knock and find out. So I did, tapping my knuckles against the door, and then stepping back to wait expectantly.


	5. Chapter 5 - Like Animal Testing

_Saturday, 8:21 am Charlie_

The knock jerked me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" I stood slowly, walking toward the door. A shattered black image stood outside the wavery glass door. Hmm… Looks a bit like the Reaper… Ah well.

Carefully unbolting the door, I threw it open. This one… Dib, waited outside on the mat. He… was quite a character. A spear of black hair hung above his head, matching the black-rimmed glasses and equally-black trench coat. A blue shirt with a comical face was partially hidden by the jacket flaps. And his eyes… They were a strange, yellow/gold color. Weird. He looked surprised to see me. Well, probably just as surprised as I was to see HIM.

"Hey… Are you Dib?" I rested a hand on the door, looking out at him. Trying not to let the urgency creep into my voice.

He started at my voice, "Uh, yeah. My name's Dib. JUST Dib."

Right, like I was going to order him to give me his last name on pen and paper. I really didn't care. I just wanted some answers about the creature still sleeping on my couch. He hadn't moved an inch since I gave him those painkillers. Just lay there… sighing softly every once in a while. I had gotten a better chance to look at him. His green skin, now marred by the crash he had endured, was perfectly smooth and silky under the wounds.

I knew that because… I had touched it again. Just couldn't help myself. I mean, it wasn't every day an alien popped up in my backyard! So I had reached out a finger, then my entire hand, and rested it on Zim's warm forehead. It felt like a rubber glove, stretched out over a piece of flesh. Maybe that's what it really was. Maybe Irken skin was part rubber? Truth was, I didn't know anything about him. Nothing really, at all. That's why Dib was here. To inform me, and tell me what to DO with this creature in my house. I just hoped he had some experience with alien medicine…

"Alright… Um, just come on in," I opened the door wider for him, stepping out of the way. Well out of the way, so his thin coat wouldn't brush by me when he walked past. Dib had an air of confidence as he stepped into my house. Like a general, about to command his army into a dangerous battle. This was the kid's comfort zone. It didn't matter that this was MY house, and MY encounter with the alien. He was the one in control.

"Where is he?"

"Zim? He's right over here." Now I led the way into the living room, pushing past Dib to lead. I could feel his eyes traveling over the pictures hanging in the hallway, on the entry table. Me and dad. Me and dad. Me and dad. He was probably wondering where the female influence in this house was. He was probably wondering where my father was, on a Saturday morning, without his daughter. But, thankfully, he didn't say anything. Just let me lead him to the room. I turned to see his eyes widen in shock when Zim came into view. The Irken was lying on the white couch, leeching blue blood into the formerly-clean fabric. Bandages covered his head, arms, legs. I had stopped myself at the scratches on his chest. There was NO way I was seeing an alien without a shirt on. No way in hell.

I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to do… something. Anything? But no, he just stood there, seemingly stunned by Zim's feeble appearance.

"Dib? Dib…. Are you okay?"

He blinked out of his trance, "Uh… uh, yeah. I'm fine. I just never expected…" His voice trailed off as he stepped forward, walking over to kneel down in front of Zim.

"I've never seen him like… this." His voice sounded almost sad, mournful, "He was always so… full of life. Bouncing around, doing anything he could to piss me off. Or, trying to take over the Earth…" He cleared his throat, before standing and turning to me. Trying not to sound nostalgic.

"But anyway, how long has he been like this?"

I looked at him curiously, taken aback by his sudden personality change, "Only… A little over an hour. He was bleeding, really badly. So I cleaned him up a bit, and then he woke up, a-"

"Woke up?"

"Yeah, he was sleeping before," I hesitated, before adding sheepishly, "I kind of hit him on the head with a baseball bat… Twice."

Dib blinked in surprise at me, "You…. TWICE?"

"Yeah… twice. He crashed in his ship in my backyard, and then he tried to attack me, and I just… defended myself."

"How in the world did you manage to hit him?" The boy sounded amazed by my story, as if giving the alien a whack on the head was some big feat.

"Ummm… I just swung the bat, and knocked him out. Then he made a noise, and kind of startled me, and so I hit him again. Then after that, I felt a bit bad for hitting him, and took him inside to bandage him up. Then he woke up for a little while, but he was delirious, because of the fever, and so I gave him a sleeping pill, and he hasn't moved since."

Dib's stunned expression didn't diminish, "You just GAVE him a sleeping pill? And he LET you?"

"Well he thought he was in an Irken hospital, and that I was a doctor, and I told him it was a painkiller."

"Oh… Still, that's so strange… And he was delirious, you say?"

"Yeah. Like I said, he thought he was in a hospital."

He nodded contemplatively, looking down at Zim again. And I looked at him, trying to word the one question that was on my mind.

"So… What are you going to… DO with him, anyway?"

"Do with him?"

"Yeah, like… Are you going to take him back to your house, or base, or… LAIR or whatever?"

Dib looked at me with his black-framed golden eyes, "I… I'm not sure. I've always dreamed of this day, when Zim would be in my clutches, and I could take him back to my lab for experimentation. But now… Well, I don't think it would be a good idea to move him. Especially not with all those injuries." He motioned to the sleeping alien, words much to my distain.

"B-but—I can't just keep him HERE! In my house, while his injuries heal! That could take days!"

"It won't. At the very most, it'll take 24 hours for him to be completely healed."

"24 hours? But…"

"Irkens have much quicker healing times than humans. I found that out earlier, in one of my studies for Zim. All we can do is wait. Once he's healed, I'll… take him back home, I guess. Then you'll be out of this crazy charade."

_Out of this crazy charade_. Once Dib took Zim, I would be back to normal life. Back to being at home all day while dad worked, or went on business trips. Just me and my thoughts. And the fireflies outside. On one hand, it seemed great. Finally, a relief from aliens and paranormal investigators, and all things of the sort. On the other…

I shook my head, "That sounds great. I'll be glad to finally get this THING off my couch…" I turned to give Zim a forced scowl. Very forced, when I saw his face. His pitiful, bandaged face. _Dib was going to take this creature, and probably perform horrifying experiments on it._

_Like animal testing. _

Was I okay with that?

_Was I… _


	6. Chapter 6 - Stars

_Friday, 4:03 am Zim_

"GIR! Where are you? I was supposed to leave at EXACTLY 4 o clock in Earth hours!" I yelled to my robot. I had been suited up thirty minutes ago, just needed to make some final adjustments on my flight plan. But now THAT was done, and my "always faithful" companion was nowhere to be seen. Suppressing a growl, I stomped over to the Voot.

Ahh, my good old Voot Cruiser. Unlike most of our other equipment, which was made by conquered engineers, my ship was 100% Irken. A marvel of technology, really.

Nothing comparable to that traitor, Tak's ship.

She "built it herself", as she claimed. Yeah, build it out of scrap parts from a destroyed planet. A junk planet, that she had been assigned to clean up. I was at least banished to a suitable eating planet when… IT happened. Probably because they were too appreciative of my pure genius to do such a thing.

Rubbing a fond hand along the purple metal, I climbed inside the ship. Sat in the firm, thermo-foam flying seat, which instantly conformed to my body.

_Now, engine check. Thrusters, on. _

With an assertive hum, the machine came to live, buttons and screens blinking on.

_Alright… Atmospheric conditions? _

Another panel came on, displaying the wind patterns for my region on the planet. Overcast, as it often was, with the sun only peeking through the gaps in the cloud cover. _Just as long as it didn't start to rain, I'll be fine._ I shuddered visibly. _Rain…_

By the time my stupid robot finally got his metal behind in the ship, I was starting to get impatient.  
"GIR! Where were you?!"

He had to think about that for a moment, sitting on the console of the ship, "Hmmmm….. I dunno."

My hand involuntarily reached up to smack my forehead, "You. Don't. Know," I groaned, "FINE, let's just get this mission started."

Flipping the front visor of the bubble-windshield down, I pressed a button to open the false roof of my house, before throwing the Voot Cruiser out of the gape. Made sure to turn the cloak on. _Don't want anybody to see us, now do we?_ The ship soared into the sky, following the path laid out on the 3D maps displayed on a screen in front of my red eyes. I zoomed higher and higher, into the strangely-orange sky, through the smoggy mist of cloud that bordered the top of that layer of atmosphere.

I once researched why the sky was so odd here. So different than Irk. I believe it was because of something having to do with the harmful gasses expelled by the buildings here. Apparently, it turned the sky orange. But once you broke through the clouds, you entered another world. Out here, a deep blue surrounded me, fading into black as the atmosphere weakened. Stars gleamed above. A flutter of happiness rose inside of me when I saw these. Stars. One of those balls of light, was Dryptaria, the sun which Irk orbited. My home. My home, which I hadn't seen in at least fifty years. My…. Fifty years. Had it really been that long? It had to have been… Five years since I came here, to Earth… And the planet already seemed at least SOMEWHAT familiar to me. Almost impossible, but yes. I wouldn't come near enough to call this wretched place "home", but it did have a… certain quality to it.

I shook my head. Now was not the time to be getting distracted. Especially not with my newest, brilliant plan in action. It just had to work. Not even that Dib-stink would stop me this time. THIS time, I would win. I would take over the Earth. Finally, take over the Earth.

And, FINALLY, be able to return home.

_Home, to Irk. _


	7. Chapter 7 - Inhuman

_Saturday, 8:30 am Dib_

We stared down at the pitiful alien on the couch. Charlie and I.

Well….. I had my opportunity. Now, while Zim was drugged, injured. It would be so easy to just scoop him up and carry him back to the car. Then all my problems would be over. I could take him back to my house. Televise the autopsy I would conduct myself, with the top paranormal scientists in the world. It would be a dream come true. But for some reason, it didn't seem….. fair. I couldn't just take him away while he was vulnerable like this. It just wasn't right. We had always gone at our battles together, Zim fighting back against me. And now, it just seemed like I had an unfair advantage. I knew I was being silly… He was a cold, heartless alien. He wouldn't hesitate if our roles were switched. But I just couldn't help it. It was too… inhuman.

Ironic, considering…

"So…" Charlie's voice shook me out of my thoughts, "Are you going to stay here until he's healed?"

"Hm. I guess I'll have to. Is that alright? Will your parents mind?"

"My dad is away on a business trip, and I'm here alone."

"Oh. Then yes, I will be staying."

Charlie nodded, tearing her gaze away from the body on the couch, "Okay. Um, I've got a spare bedroom, over here. I'll show you."

The girl led the way out of the living room, down a hallway, and to the door at the end of the hall. It was partially open, and swung inward with a soft creak. A large room, with beige walls and a plain look to it. Blank bedspread, blank walls.

I looked around curiously, noting the neatness of the room. Guest-roomy neatness.

"It's… nice," I turned to face Charlie, "We'll have to take shifts watching Zim, just to make sure he doesn't make his escape in the night. I'll take the f—"

"Shifts? You mean…. staying up the whole night?"

"Yeah. Well, not the WHOLE night, just part of it."

"What? We're not going to get much sleep if we do that."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, "I KNOW that, but if he wakes up and we're sound asleep, he'll be able to escape easily."

"… You seem like you've done this a lot."

"You could say that. I've done overnight surveillance of Zim's house before."

"Ah. Right, I listened to one of your voice memos on the Swollen Eyeball website. Something about a 24-hour watch?"

"Yep, that was a few months ago. It's tiring, and hard, but you can do it."

She didn't seem entirely convinced, but that wasn't my job. Geez, it was hard enough dealing with an injured alien… Why couldn't Zim's ship have landed in another paranormal investigator's backyard, instead of this GIRL? I didn't have time to babysit. I had enough to worry about…

Suppressing a sigh, I walked past her back into the hallway, through the living room, to stop at the door to the yard. Opened it. A cloud of smoke hit me in the face as soon as a gape was made. Black tendrils billowed from the open hatch of the spaceship, making my eyes water and throat burn. Man, the crash had done a lot of damage. Both to the craft and to the yard. The ground was torn up, with a big score in the dirt leading to the ship. The purple metal was dented, even ripped in places. It would take a lot of work to repair it. Thankfully, Zim wouldn't be able to use it to escape, if he DID try to…

"My dad is going to be furious…" Charlie's voice surprised me from behind. She had followed me outside, wringing her hands. Stepped warily behind me.

I got a closer look at her face. It was haggard, pale. Her widened eyes were rimmed with dark skin, circling the rings of white and green. She looked terrified.

Looking at her closely, I turned my body and took a step toward her. Poor girl… She gets up one Saturday, and a spaceship crash-lands in her backyard. No wonder she looked like this. And to think I almost told her to suck it up about not getting a full night's sleep tonight.

I gave her a small smile, "Don't worry… After his wounds heal, I'll take care of him, and none of this will be your problem anymore."

My words didn't seem to reassure her, "Yeah, okay."

_Yeah, okay? If I were to hear that, I would be practically jumping for joy. _To have a weight on your shoulders and finally have it lifted off. Sounds great. Unfortunately, that would never happen to me.

Or…. would it? After Zim was put in the government's hands, I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore… No more aliens coming to invade Earth, no more all-night surveillance… Just me and my paranormal investigating career. I would be free… Free from stupid, stupid Zim. The thought alone was enough to give me a little thrill. Whew, I had almost let my sympathy for him get the best of me. So what if he looked pitiful, laying on the couch? He had given me injuries too, no doubt about it. And it was nice to finally see him in the same position.

"Don't worry, Charlie," I murmured, partially to myself and partially to her, "We'll get him this time. This time, he won't get away."


	8. Chapter 8 - Gray

_Saturday, 8:43 am Zim_

Everything was gray. Not the kind of gray that is used to paint pretty walls of old buildings. The gray that closes out the sky before a storm. A smoky, hazy gray. Absence of color. That was all I saw when I inched open my eyes. Actually, you couldn't even say "inched". That was too big of a measurement. Perhaps…. quarter of an inch. Just enough to let a tiny bit of light through. It was the first thing that came to my muddled mind.

What had that doctor DONE to me? Last thing I remembered, I was in some sort of odd (perhaps Vortitian) hospital, and a woman had given me some pain medication. And then, stuck a cold, beeping stick in my mouth. Then, everything had faded away.

_Pain medication... pain medic...ation... _

My antenna twitched. Something cold was blowing on it. Cold... air? Felt like it. But, it seemed I couldn't turn my head to see what it was. My eyelids wouldn't even more the full inch upward. Yes, that doctor had definitely done something to me. She acted very strangely in the first place. But she HAD bandaged me up, which was... doctor-like.

_Ughhhh..._ My brain felt like it was trying to move through mud. Slow and sluggish. It was thinking through molasses.

_What WAS... molasses, anyway? Humans always talk about it... but what is it? Something... sticky and thick. _

My eyes fluttered, a low sound escaping my mouth. Now wasn't the time to be getting distracted. No more thoughts of molasses. _I have to get out of here... find a way out. That... Dib... he would be looking for me. _

But it was incredibly hard to move when you couldn't MOVE. I couldn't even muster a twitch of my gloved finger. My entire body felt numb.

Another soft groan.

Then I heard a muted sound... fuzzy voices. Coming closer to me, ever closer. I couldn't make out what they were saying. It just sounded like they were speaking from underwater. Not that I would know what that sounded like...

"... awake, look." One of the voices broke into my hearing, making a few words audible. And a smell reached my antenna. Sent a shock through my mind. I would recognize that smell anywhere.

Dib.

He was here. But how? How had he ever found me, all the way out here in the wilderness of Earth? That's right... I had crashed in the middle of... nowhere... And then that... HORRIBLE... girl... had found me... and hit me. With a big, smooth stick. She was NO doctor! She was that hyoo-man! Then... WHY had I thought she was a doctor? Maybe my brain wasn't working quite right... Of course it wasn't. I had gotten injured, remember? Hit on the head. Twice, if I remembered correctly. That MIGHT have something to do with my incapability to think correctly. But it wasn't only that... My body felt odd. Cold.

Cold was something I didn't feel often. Sometimes, during a harsh winter on this planet, I would get chilly. But I was in one of the human's houses. It shouldn't be cold in here. _Then, why... was I... _

I could feel myself fading...

Fading... with an odd pain in my side...


	9. Chapter 9 - A Long Shot

_Saturday, 8:44 am Charlie_

"He's awake, look!"

Dib and I rushed to the alien's bedside at the groan. Our "patient's" eyes slitted open just barely, allowing us to see a sliver of that odd magenta color. He tried to move his head, without much luck. It looked like the drug was still strong in his system.

Thank goodness...

I could only imagine how furious he would be if he were fully lucid...

"Do... do you think we should do something?" I looked at Dib, concerned about our situation.

"Why should we do something?"

"Well... I mean... he's waking up... and... what if he tries something and..." I trailed off.

Dib nodded, understanding my meaning, "Okay. We wouldn't want him to escape suddenly or try to hurt one of us or anything. What do you suggest?"

"Me?! You're the paranormal investigator!"

"You subdued him the first time," Dib replied plainly.

That was true... But all I had done was hit him over the head with a baseball bat. And we couldn't do that again. The alien was already looking sorry enough as it was. I didn't want to add another wound to my list of guilt.

Yes... guilt. I felt GUILTY for hitting this poor creature. This... alien. From what how Dib thinks of him, he must have done something terrible. So I should be essentially heartless to him, right?

_... Right?_

Maybe not. My dad always told me never to hate or love something unless you have a reason for doing so. Why should I hate him just because my new partner did? Zim hasn't done anything bad that was directly connected to me... except for trying to attack me when we first met. But that was instinctual. He had crash-landed in a strange place, with a strange human holding a strange weapon in her hands standing in front of him. It was perfectly natural to react that way. And besides that, there was no reason not to give help to any alien who needed it.

At least... that's what I told myself. It made sense. And it gave me a reason to give in to my intense sympathy for him.

"Yeah, but... I don't know what to do now." I walked to the couch, kneeling beside it. Dib followed, standing quietly behind me. He didn't seem to have any ideas either. And meanwhile, the alien began to stir. If ever-so-slightly.

I reached forward and felt his forehead. It was still warm, maybe even more than before. How in the world had he gotten a fever? Could aliens catch the flu? But maybe it was...

Sliding my hand up to the bandage on his head, I slowly peeled it off. A rancid odor, like an old penny, wafted up to my nose. I suppressed a retch. The wound had gotten infected.

Badly, from the appearance of it. The reddened flesh was in stark comparison to the other light green skin. A dough-colored liquid flooded in parts of the damaged skin.

"Ohhh my..." Dib's voice sounded mortified, "I... I'll be right back." With that, he rushed out of the room and away to wherever he could clear the image from his mind. And possibly clear his stomach.

I stayed. Someone had to watch after him, after all. And it seemed it was going to be me. But I didn't understand how the wound had gotten so bad so quickly. It was only an hour or so ago when I... inflicted... it on him. Infection shouldn't be setting in for a long time yet...

I shook my head. It wasn't time to wonder about alien physiology. Zim's chest rose and fell quicker than before, and his face was beginning to bead up in something like sweat... There was no doubt now. He was feverish from the infection.

The open flesh was bleeding again, the red mixing with the yellow pus into a sickening sludge. Thinking quickly, I grabbed a cloth off of the loveseat next to the couch and used it to mop up the liquid. It was pretty disgusting... Good thing I had had a lot of practice cleaning up wounds with all of the animals my family has had in the past. But this was still different. Patching up a cat's paw or straightening a bird's broken wing was on matter.

THIS... this was an alien. A humanoid alien.

I felt like a student trying to write a report on a subject that they know nothing about.

Except this was real life, and Zim could possibly get gangrene if I don't fix this. If Irkens could even GET gangrene. I doubted it. But then again, I didn't know they could get infections. This whole thing was a big revolving puddle of uncertainty. Try and give him antibiotics, and I could accidently trigger some kind of a... allergic reaction or something. Who knows what I could do to him?

I had to do something. The thought came to me. If I didn't do anything, he wouldn't get any better for SURE. But if I did... and I saved him. I wonder if he would be grateful? Maybe he would be so thankful to me that I had saved his life that he wouldn't try and kill me again... It was a long shot, but not entirely impossible.

I shook my head. It didn't matter how he would react. I was going to do all I could, despite my lack of alien medical knowledge.

I was going to try and save Zim's life.


	10. Chapter 10 - Infection

_Saturday, 8:46 am. Zim_

"Ughhhh..."

A groan escaped my lips. My head pounded. Like one of those... hangover-things the television mentioned. But I had not consumed any nasty-smelling liquid recently. In fact, all I had done was... was...

"Are you alright?" A voice reached my antennae. It was female. It was that GIRL I had seen earlier! She dared to come back and face me! _Why, if I could only... move... _

"... Zim?" _She knew my name? Had I told it to her earlier? No, I didn't actually remember... at least I don't think I did._

I forced open my eyes more. Just the movement from my eyelids sent a twinge of pain through my head. The blurry image of a face greeted my retinas. It WAS her... that weird "doctor" female human. With the same black hair color that both Dib and my wig had. Except her eyes were different.

A small smile came across her face.

"Zim... can you hear me?"

"Mhhmmm..." The only sound I could muster was more akin to a moan. But she took it nonetheless. She made a noise of relief, before messing with something on my forehead. I growled weakly, and reached up a hand to try and push her away.

"Zim, stop. You have an infection."

_... Infection? ME, the great Invader Zim, has gotten bacteria inside of my glorious body material? Impossible. This human must be trying to deceive me. _

"G...get... get... off..." I managed to form words this time. Although barely.

"NO. Now do I need to drug you again, or are you going to sit still while I clean this?"

_Hm. _It appeared she wouldn't surrender. _Stupid girl. She didn't realize the depth of my amazingness_. Well, if she wanted to care for me, it was her loss. And once I was fully recovered, I could enact my revenge. After all, SHE was the one who inflicted these wounds in the first place. Well... most of them anyway. But if she wanted to help me, I couldn't refuse. NOT that I needed the help in any stretch of the imagination. I didn't NEED anybody's help. My superior Irken body could heal itself. But... she owed me.

"F...fine..."

Her face lit up into a smile, and she slowly peeled something off my forehead. A tangy, bitter odor wafted up to my antennae_. What in the world...?_

"What... what..."

"I told you. You have an infection, Zim. A pretty bad one, too..."

"I have... an..."

_Infection. I was smelling an infection. _


	11. Chapter 11 - Flesh and Blood

_Saturday, 8:47 am. Dib_

I wrung my hands. I don't think I had ever seen something like that. It was like his flesh was... rotting away. Like a week-old pumpkin at Halloween, rotting out in the sun. You could see the reddened skin starting to bleed and ooze. Ooze with pus... The smell was enough to make my stomach heave. And I could still smell it. Or at least I felt like I could.

_The blood came out, and... just... _

I threw a hand over my mouth and held back the retch rising up from my stomach. I had only made it to the hallway before I fell against the wall, forcing myself not to look at the open doorway to the living room.

_How can she stand it? Charlie didn't even really react when she saw... THAT... _

Maybe she was used to this kind of thing? But how was that possible? It wasn't like she was a surgeon or anything. She was just a teenager. Just like me. And _I_ had all that paranormal experience behind me. But I had never dealt with anything like that. I mean, ghosts and goblins don't bother me. In fact, I quite enjoy them. Ghosts and goblins and aliens and other specters are my bread and butter.

That was another thing entirely. It was... flesh and blood. I don't know why, but for some reason, it had surprised me that the alien had bled. The alien. The Irken Invader, Zim. He was flesh and blood. I suppose I knew that before, but... it was weird all the same. Zim always seemed kind of... cold and robotic to me for some reason. The fact that he had bled makes him seem... mortal. If you could say it that way. Zim could be injured. Could be killed...

_Could be diced up in a laboratory. _

The morbid thought brought a smile to my lips. The thought of seeing Zim's guts strewn on an autopsy table... It was sickeningly satisfying. And maybe now, with Charlie by my side, it could finally happen. I mean, she was something of a sidekick now. I had never had a sidekick before. It was always just me against the world. Me against the world of the supernatural. But now, Charlie was here. She could help me! After we took care of Zim, next would be the chupacabras, and Nosferatu! We could be the best paranormal investigation team in the world! We would be world famous!

_Maybe, with her help... _


	12. Chapter 12 - Antennae

_Saturday, 8:50 am. Charlie_

"Here, now just hold still for a minute, and I'll finish wiping this up."  
"Mmm."  
Zim's eyes drooped down again as I continued cleaning off the infection. He looked pretty tired... His head was lolling in my hands as I turned it from side to side. I'm not sure if it was from the drugs I gave him, or the fever. Either way, he seemed about to fall asleep at any moment.  
Which wouldn't bother me, honestly. He would be easier to deal with if he were unconscious.

I gently put a hand on the side of his face and tilted it to the side, bending around his antennae to better reach the oozing wound on the side of his head. It was something of a bruise, with the light green skin split down the middle of it. Reaching from all the way from his forehead to behind his n—  
I bumped my wrist against the base of one of his antenna. He jerked visibly, eyes shooting open to slowly focus on me.

"Ah! Wh...what are you..." His eyes fluttered, antennae twitching from the touch.  
"Oops, sorry. Did that hurt?"  
I gave the stalk a wide berth and finished wiping off the draining blood. There we go, all clean. The pus had been removed from the cut, along with most of the blood.  
"No... it just..." He looked confused. That would make two of us. Ever so slowly, I set the cloth on the back of the couch, reached up, and took the bent end of one of his antenna in my hand.  
"Ahh..." Zim gasped at the touch, body tensing. His eyes shot open all the way, rolling up to his antennae.

_Huh? Why is he..._

Confused at his reaction, I rubbed my thumb from the tip of the stalk to the bend. He let out a shuddering breath, fingers clenching as they rested on his chest.  
"Ohhh..."

Okay, NOW I was confused... _Why in the world was he acting like this? All I was doing was touching his anten—_  
A thought came to me. Bugs use their antennae for smelling and hearing. They're super sensitive to even the slightest of air waves. So... why not touch? Maybe it was like touching a human's skin, but a lot more intense... or something?  
"Hey Zim... you alright?" I let go of the black stalk and looked down at him.

His eyes trailed lazily up to me, "Uh... y-yeah... I think so..."


	13. Chapter 13 - Feelings

_Saturday, 8:55 am. Zim_

My head still spun. The feeling when the human had touched my antennae... It was hard to describe. It shot down the back of my neck, all the way through my spine. I don't even know what the feeling was. It wasn't pain... definitely not. It was somewhat similar to the lightness I experience when I win a victory over that Dib-stink.  
I believe it was called...

_Pleasure._ Did I just experience pleasure? The humans sometimes called it "happiness". They talk about it quite often. Apparently, it was a major emotion in their feeble, weak-minded... minds.  
I wouldn't know. Irkens have the privilege of being incapable of most human emotions. Sadness, happiness, anger... we didn't feel any of them. Invaders need our logical, cold minds to function properly. We need it to do our job. If our decisions were compromised by such things, we couldn't think logically.

And that couldn't happen.  
Not ever.  
Not if I wanted to keep my career.

If the Almighty Tallest were to hear that I was developing these... "feelings"... it wouldn't be good for me. Not good at all... The lightest punishment would be exile. I would be banned from visiting Irk, Vort, Foodcourtia, and any other major Irken Alliance planets. I would be fired... again.

Worst case punishment? I didn't even want to think about it...

But they didn't have to know, did they? I mean, whatever was wrong with me, it would be resolved soon. I would heal, and take care of this girl and that Di—

I gasped, "DIB!"  
"Huh?" The female jumped at my sudden voice, "What about him?"  
"WHERE is he?!" My voice dropped down to a growl, eyes narrowing.  
"Uhh... that doesn't matter..."  
I struggled to lean forward threateningly. And succeeded. The female's eyes widened in fear.

_Fear. Another human emotion._

"Tell me... where he... is."

She knew where Dib was. He was HERE, I knew it. I could smell him earlier. His stench lingered on the couch, in the air. He was standing over me earlier, when I was helplessly unconscious. _That little STINK-worm! How dare he defy me in such a way?!_

Well no matter... this girl would explain what was going on to me.

"TELL... me... NOW..."

The girl looked frightened for another moment... and then stopped. She reached forward, and took a hold of the end of my right antenna.  
A bolt went through me, similar to the one I had felt before.

"Ahh!" I dropped back onto the couch, resulting in a slight tug against the stalk.

Another shock as the female began to rub the end between her fingers. The hot, tingling feeling spread through me, radiating pleasure from top of my head. My gloved fingers dug into the soft cushion underneath me, clawing at it.

"Mmm... mmmm..." The noises escaped past my lips, soft moans... or whimpers... of pleasure.

_Happiness._

Oh Irk oh Irk oh Irk oh Irk... What was happening to me...?


	14. Chapter 14 - On Our Way

_Friday, 6:12 pm Zim_

The trip had taken a while.

Don't blame me, it was Gir's fault! The stupid robot had completely DESTROYED how my plan was originally going to go! Instead of zooming straight up to Earth's atmosphere, and into orbit, where the satellite was... well...

It didn't work out that way. First of all, I had assigned my servant to keep an eye on the navigation while I did some last-minute checks on the equipment I was going to use to hack the human orbital machine.  
BUT...  
He decided to take a little foot-sucking detour, and roll around on the floor for a few minutes. And so, when a sudden windstorm swept into our path, there was nobody there to maintain our course. And I only noticed the error AFTER we had gotten thoroughly lost...

In the middle of nowhere...

In the middle of EARTH!

So, of course, it fell to me to arrange a safe (and secluded) way to return on course. If that little mishap wasn't enough, THEN, I realized Gir hadn't packed the correct type of... well... everything. SO, I had to improvise, and recalibrate a few of my computers.

And THEN, we were on our way.

Finally.

The trip had gone smoothly after those few first accidents. After taking a journey down to the crust again, we reached the top of the lower atmosphere, a layer the humans called the "troposphere". We soared above it, higher and higher. Before long, the sky lost its deep blue color, and faded into blackness and stars. Again.  
I felt much more comfortable in open space. Even if I wasn't totally out of Earth's atmosphere yet. This was a most familiar territory.

Ahh... much better. My fingers tightened on the controls, over the touchpad. The ship's sensors were telling me that my target was just ahead.  
Maybe a few more miles, clearable in under a minute.  
Ooh! There, I could see it in front of me. In the distance, a small, silver shape lingered. That must be the satellite I was searching for. It appeared to be giving off a strong radio signal, sending it down to Earth. Yep, this was it. Now, I just needed to attach my probe to the hull of the machine, and my plan would be in motion. Before long, the humans' entire television, radio, and communication system would be under MY control.

And the planet would be mine.

Or, that was my plan, at least. And my plans NEVER fail. So I just had t—

_Huh? What in the world is that?_

A little blip appeared on my navigation screen. It appeared to be... another satellite, perhaps? No...  
it was something bigger...  
with...  
an engine?


	15. Chapter 15 - A Long Story

_Saturday, 9:02 am. Dib_

It was just a few minutes later when I came back into the room. My stomach felt hollow, and much more prepared for whatever gore Zim's injuries could throw at me...

But I was surprised. In both a good and bad way. Charlie had (thankfully) cleaned up most of the blood and pus, so my gut didn't get another pounding. Nope, something else was thoroughly confused instead.

Charlie was there, sitting beside Zim, like she had been standing earlier. Her hand was... ON his long, disgusting, black antenna, with nothing of a disgusted expression on her face. She actually seemed... complacent?!

The biggest shocker was actually the victim who was laying on her couch. Under her hand, the spindly stalks were quivering like a limp twig on a tree in the wind, and his face was... a mixture of strained pleasure and shock.

Mostly the strained pleasure.

WHAT?!

I didn't even know Zim COULD be happy, except when he was destroying something, or foiling some plan of mine to stop him. But this wasn't either of those. A HUMAN was touching him, and he didn't even seem very much bothered by it.

WHAT?!

He was even making... oddly suggestive noises. Like whimpering and hissing versions of moans. Happy moans, not moans of pain, like the kind that he normally made.

And I'll mention again, a HUMAN was doing all this to him.

Willingly.

CHARLIE.

Willingly.

Again I exclaim,

"WHAT?! What in the world is going on in here?! Don't touch him, Charlie!"

She turned to me in surprise, eyes dropping into a glare, "What? Why not? I'm just trying to get him to chill out a little bit. He might hurt himself or s-"

"I... DON'T... CARE... get your hands off him, before he hurts YOU or something! He's a dangerous alien! Or maybe you haven't NOTICED!"

"Okay, okay, geez," Charlie huffed and lifted her hands off of him, as Zim let out a breathy noise and relaxed, "Man, you really have a grudge against him, don't you?"

"DON'T I?! Don't you know what he's capable of?! He's trying to take over Earth! Isn't that reason enough to have a grudge?!" I stepped further into the room and out of the doorway I had been hesitating in. The girl staring back just gave me a blank look. Oh wait... maybe she didn't actually know that. After all, she had just been thrown into this whole ordeal without any pre-cursor or anything. She probably knew about as much as those clueless kids back in our Skool.

I sighed deeply, and came over to sit in a chair beside where she was kneeling at Zim's couch-side, "Okay, I guess I kinda owe you an explanation, huh?"

"I'd say so. How in the world did he get here? And what are these "Irken" things? And how do you fit into all this?"

"Okay... it's a long story, that started one night when I was on the roof, monitoring a broadcast..."

Dib had been monitoring just as he always had that fateful night. You never know when a rebel group of aliens could be sending a hail or something across the stars. But so far, the night hadn't been eventful. So far, he had just gotten some static, and what seemed to be coos and cries from a nearby baby monitor. And he was starting to get sleepy. This wasn't his first late night. Yesterday, he had stayed up until nearly six in the morning, trying to get a glimpse of that ninja ghost that used to haunt his toilet. He had gotten rid of it earlier, but the other day, it made the oddest sound wh-

"—so incredibly small... you're very small, Zim-m-"

The rest of the words disappeared into static as Dib methodically changed the frequency. But then his heart practically stopped. Did he just hear... frantically, he turned the knob back, just managing to catch the next words:

"... But... invaders' blood marches through my veins, like giant RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS! The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

"... As a show of gratitude, from your service in the past, uh... here's a sandwich."

"But-"

"Thanks for coming, everybody!"

"NO!"

"Goodnight!"

"No... WAIT!"

"Wha? You got your sandwich!"

"My Tallest... an opportunity to prove I truly can be an Invader is all that I ask... gimme!"

"... Hold on, I've got a plan. WE SEE NOW that you are truly deserving."

"Yes... yes I am."

"You will be sent to a planet so mysterious, no one has even heard of it!"

"Right! And those who have heard of it, dare not speak its name!"

"... What's its name?"

"Oh, I dare not speak it."

"... Where is it?"

"Umm... uh... uhhhh... RIGHT there!"

"Oo-ooh! A secret mission..."

"Happy now?"

"Yesss..."

"Invaders, report to the equipment hall! O-Oh, and remember, lasers."

"WAHHHHH!"

"The universe will be ours for the taking! It's only a matter of time before all the races of the universe serve the Irken Empireeeee!"

"I'll have them serve me curly fries- curly fries- curly fries- curly fries- curly fries..."

As universal conquest was going on, meanwhile, Dib's eyes were growing huge. Finally, after all these years... real proof of aliens! He had actually just listened in on a real alien conversation! And not only that, it was the plan for their conquest! Now, he knew their plan, and something about this "Invader Zim"...

But then it dawned on him... aliens were plotting to come to Earth. To HIS planet. They were going to do something HORRIBLE to it...

"... They're coming..."


	16. Chapter 16 - His Name Is Zim

_Saturday, 9:15 am Dib_

"Woah... so... Zim was sent by his superiors to take over Earth? Harsh..."

I had just finished the very beginning of a long tale that ensued after that fateful day. At least now Charlie understood a little bit of why that alien and I were such big enemies. A very little bit, admittedly...

"Yeah, but that isn't all he's done. He's experimented on pigs, chickens, and even human bei-"

"Silence your noise tube... stupid human..." Zim suddenly spoke up from where he had been lying languidly, trying to sit up as best he could.  
"Z-Zim! Don't try and get up!" The ever-loyal Charlie rushed over and put her hands on his shoulders to ease him down once again, "You've still got some pretty bad bruises and scratches, and a fev-"

"I... don't... care... Let me up, you filthy little..." He trailed off again, pushing against her weakly.

Uh oh. Looks like Zim was starting to get mobile. I had to keep him laying down, and ON that couch, if I ever wanted to bring him back to the Eyeballs for proof. Hm... maybe it was time to think like a Charlie.

"... Heyyy, Zim? Do you want a drink? I bet some soda would taste really good right about now." My hand brushed against the bottle of pills that Charlie had used to subdue him the first time, right as she turned. Her eyes brightened with understanding, and she took the bottle behind her back.

"Yeah, come on Zim. You'll need to drink something if you want to keep your strength up."

"I don't want... any of your disgusting liquid acid..."

I took the white medicine bottle, and headed into the kitchen, ignoring him. Charlie and her family had a pretty nice kitchen, pretty clean and tidy. The greenish walls matched the white tiles and curtains. Even the napkins seemed to have a perfect place and color coordination in the room.

_Her family must be artists or something to have a kitchen like this. _

_Thankfully, it was well soda-stocked. _

Within a minute, I came back, with a half-full glass of bubbling orange soda in my hand. The white tablets had dissolved in the "liquid acid" by now.

"Here you go, alien-scum. Enjoy." I handed the cup to Charlie, and she did the honors. Ignoring Zim's protest, she pushed his hands away, and tipped the glass into his mouth. He coughed once, but, seeming to not quite mind the sugary drink too much, soon downed the last of it.

"... Now get that container out of my... face..."

Charlie couldn't help but gratefully smile a bit at me, "Sure thing," But then she turned to me, looking curious, "Do you guys always call each other things like 'alien scum' and 'filthy'?"

"Um," I started, holding back a laugh, "I guess so. We give each other hate-nicknames."

"... That's weird."

"Everything... you humans do... is weird..." Zim managed to mumble. The dose had started to take effect, slurring his words slightly. His eyes looked heavy, even more than before. And with a last stubborn blink, they slid shut, and Zim was asleep once again.

"Whew..." Charlie sat back on her heels, looking up at me, "... So now we wait?"

"Now we wait."

Dib remembered the day when Zim first came to Skool. The other studends, including himself, had already sat down. Ms. Bitters was just about to begin her lesson, as they watched nervously. A student in this class never knew what kind of lesson the black-clad teacher would be throwing at them that day. If she were in a good mood, it might be something like memorizing copyright information, or the index. If it were a bad-mood-day... well, who knows. Just as long as they didn't take a field trip to a hot dog factory again...

Never again...

But this day, they got a surprise. Another student was joining them? She had made the announcement before the unlucky child had even entered the room. Who was it? Did one of the kids from another class get transferred over here? And if so, who was the devil who made THAT brilliant decision?

Nobody expected the little green child to walk in.

Sure, they had gotten weird looking ones before... Pig-Boy was evidence enough of that.

But a green kid?

With no ears?

And a dome attached somehow to his back?

Dib could hardly believe it when the other students didn't react with the horror and astonishment he expected.

"His name is.. Zim."

That's about when Dib imploded inwardly. ZIM... the very same ZIM that he had heard about on the broad cast several months ago... coincidence?

He thought not. After all, it wasn't everyday a green-skinned person came in with the name ZIM.

Even during their conversation in class, when he deliberately POINTED OUT Zim's abnormalities to the others, they didn't believe him.

But of course, they never did...

So it was up to him to confront the foreigner after class.

"Zim..." The alien was almost down the front steps, when an enraged voice sounded behind him. It was the spiky-black-haired boy who had accused him earlier. But he was determined to succeed THIS time.

"Maybe your cruddy little disguise worked on everybody else, but I'll get them to see the truth."

Zim turned around with what could only be described as a smirk, "No one will believe you..."

Heh. Dib was hoping he'd say that.

"They'll believe me if I bring you to them _without _your disguise." He vaulted over and slid down the railing of the steps, landing neatly in front of him as he took out a pair of impressive-looking handcuffs.

"I ordered this from one of my U.F.O-zines.

Zim certainly looked (at least somewhat) impressed, "Ooh, it's pretty! What is it?"

"Alien sleep cuffs," Dib responded, looking more smug by the second, "Guaranteed to render all alien life forms unconscious!"

"How do you know it works, if you've never found an alien before...?"

"I'm gonna find out right now. HYYAHHH!"

"... So, you and Zim have been at this since, well, since you first met?"

Charlie and I had been sitting on the chairs in the living room (all except for the couch where Zim was still sleeping soundly). I figured, since all we had to do was wait for the invader to get better at this point, I might as well fill her in on what's happened up to this point. She seemed interested in the story, even to the point of fascination.

Like just about the same thing hadn't happened to her.

"Yeah, ever since we first met, that day at Skool."

"Huh... and all this time, I thought you were being really bullying to him... but you're just trying to protect Earth from being taken over."

"EXACTLY!" _Finally, someone gets it! I'm not really a crazed kid who dreams up fantasies about aliens and monsters! I'm trying to save all of us from alien domination!_

Charlie couldn't help but look a bit amused, " I guess you don't get credit much, huh? From what you said, it seems like you're kind of the school nutjob."

"Haha, you hit the mark... but I am NOT a nutjob, and now you know it! I'm really not crazy! Man... it feels good to have another on the side of good."

"I bet."

I smiled at her for a moment longer, before continuing with my story.

I told her about the chase across the cars and into the dog park, and to his strange house.

I told her about the time Zim tried harvesting the other kids' organs for his own use.

About the Halloween scare we had had together.

Christmas takeover.

Turning into baloney.

Everything I had to tell about Zim and I's extensive history together.

By the time I had finished my monologue, it was nearly an hour later. Zim was still sleeping, thankfully. And my partner was now fully educated in the dangers of the Irken Empire.

Or, at least as much as I was myself.

"Wow..." Charlie leaned back in her seat, taking in all the information she had just received, "... That's a crazy story. Not saying that you're crazy. But you have a CRAZY story. I mean, that's the kind of thing that you hear about in books or sci-fi movies."

"Tell me about it..." I rolled my eyes as she looked back sympathetically, "But it's no sci-fi adventure. It's real life... and it's not always as epic, or daring as a movie would be. Some of it's just monitoring, and observation. Just look at what happened when I watched Zim eat waffles."

"Good point. But, I mean... you and Zim were just kids then," Charlie turned and looked at the lanky alien lying on the couch, "But you're like, my age now. What happened in between all that?"

"Well... about the same thing... Zim and I hate each other, and then counter that hate with insults and taunts. He actually grew about my height, despite already being full grown or something. Maybe it's Earth's gravity?"

"... You mean, nothing's changed since then? Except for the height thing? I'm surprised you guys managed to keep that up for so long."

... She had a point. How did we enemies manage to stay enemies for so long? Wouldn't have either, A: Zim taken over the Earth, or B: I finally stopped him and the Irken Armada?

Maybe... there was a little thing I didn't tell her. But it wasn't very important. At least not to our position right now. If it came up, I'd tell her later.

_But for now..._

"Haha... me too, Charlie. Me too..."


End file.
